“Somewhere along the way, I realized the real experiment wasn’t travel. It was identity.” I would have struggled to put this into words but you have nailed it completely. Having moved to Yorkshire in my thirties, I struggled to find a place in our wonderful community. Then I started travelling and found myself and my place at home. Wonderful writing as always Kelly, thanks for sharing.
Dave — this means a lot. And I love how you named it: finding yourself and then your place at home. That inversion feels true to my own experience too — travel wasn’t the point so much as the mirror it held up.
Thank you for sharing your Yorkshire chapter here, and for reading with such care. I’m really glad the words landed.
Love this! I took a 'sabbatical year' a few years ago and ended up never coming home. This line resonated 100% - By the end of the year, I realized this wasn’t a break; it was a beginning.
What a gorgeous story! The identity piece was so relatable for me. I recently published a substack on the lessons I learned in my "gap year" - which I took at 25 after a few years of working and post covid lockdowns. Hopefully I will have a few more "gap years" in my life!
Shayne, I love that you’re already planning for multiple “gap years” in one lifetime — that line made me smile.
I’ve added your post to my reading list and I’m really looking forward to hearing how 25-you processed that first big pause. The identity stuff runs deep for so many of us.
Jen — I completely agree! The countryside is where the UK feels like it exhales.
We find it really recharges our batteries to be out there — I’m constantly amazed at how much countryside there actually is once you step outside the cities. Our daughter and grandkids live on a working estate near Shaftesbury, and it feels like they have no neighbors at all… unless you count sheep and whatever wildlife decides to wander through.
This was a great read, Kelly! Love your approach! We’re not ready to take a whole year off, we take about a month (give or take a week or two) to travel, then spend a month or two at home… Our latest trip was Europe, we’ve been home a few weeks now and planning our next adventure by the end of January. Love how you worded it, feeling like each place reveals something new about ourselves. Absolutely agree! 😊
Thank you, Emese — I love that rhythm you’ve built. A month away, a month or two at home… it’s such a sustainable, soul-filling cadence. It’s amazing how each place really does hold up a new mirror.
Can’t wait to see where your late-January adventure takes you next!
I enjoyed your article, thank you for sharing your story. I spent 15 years living in Europe, and you captured, or confirmed, a few of the things I knew but needed to read from someone else. You were beautifully succinct, and had me smiling, taking notes even. Home now ... I needed to read you.
Di, this means so much — thank you. I feel like we all carry these little unspoken truths from our years abroad, and it’s strangely comforting when someone else names them out loud.
Fifteen years in Europe must have given you a whole library of those moments. I’m really glad my piece met you right where you are now, back home and sorting through it all.
You’re so right — it really is a privilege, and I think that’s why it feels so meaningful to do it now, when I’m old enough to appreciate the wonder and the trade-offs.
Grateful every day we get to keep exploring! 💛 Kelly
Thank you, Alexandra — that means a lot. It’s been such a wild, rewarding experiment, and sharing it with people who genuinely enjoy the journey makes it even better. 💛 Kelly
I really like the comment "discovering who we each were without the job titles." It's important to strip down to the bare soul. Most people do not do their dream job, so if you were the lawyer, the gardener, the banker, the manager....these may not even come close to speaking to who you really are. While I was committed to my job for 30 years, I try not to get pulled back into that life too much anymore. Not a closed chapter, but one I would probably not go back to re-read. Also, "Travel didn’t erase who I was — it just handed me a mirror from another angle" is what I love about travel and self-discovery. Part of you can step out from the shadows and be seen...sometimes for the first time. Thanks for this!
Adelaide, this is so beautifully put! I really believe most of us spend decades being known by our usefulness rather than our essence — the job title becomes the shorthand for who we are.
Stepping out of that world felt like peeling back layers I didn’t realize I’d been carrying.
And you’re right… travel doesn’t replace anything. It just offers new mirrors. New angles. New light. Parts of ourselves we never had the space or quiet to notice finally get to step forward.
I love what you said about not re-reading that old chapter. Same here. I’m grateful for it, but the life I’m living now feels closer to the real me than anything on my résumé ever did.
Thank you for such a thoughtful reflection — it means a lot.
Rosie, thank you so much for reading — and for sharing that.
Hearing you say it gets even better with time makes me even more excited for the years ahead. What a gift to have your perspective in this little corner of the world.
"Somewhere along the way, I realized the real experiment wasn’t travel. It was identity." Such a profound statement and says a lot about you. A lot of people fill up their time with travel without ever getting to realise that they're searching for something else.
Look me up if you make it to Queensland, Australia.
Glenda, thank you — that means a lot! I’m still wrapping my own head around how much of this “experiment” has really been about who I am without the old markers of home and work.
We’ll be spending a month in Sydney as a home base early next year, and Queensland is very much on the “if we can swing it” list. I’ll definitely let you know if we make it up your way!
Michael, same with my younger sister — the youngest ones sometimes need the biggest push, and the biggest reminder that it’s never too late to hit reset and choose a different life.
“Somewhere along the way, I realized the real experiment wasn’t travel. It was identity.” I would have struggled to put this into words but you have nailed it completely. Having moved to Yorkshire in my thirties, I struggled to find a place in our wonderful community. Then I started travelling and found myself and my place at home. Wonderful writing as always Kelly, thanks for sharing.
Dave — this means a lot. And I love how you named it: finding yourself and then your place at home. That inversion feels true to my own experience too — travel wasn’t the point so much as the mirror it held up.
Thank you for sharing your Yorkshire chapter here, and for reading with such care. I’m really glad the words landed.
– Kelly
Love this! I took a 'sabbatical year' a few years ago and ended up never coming home. This line resonated 100% - By the end of the year, I realized this wasn’t a break; it was a beginning.
Yes 🙌 Isn’t it wild how a “break” can quietly rewrite your whole life?
Ours unfolded the same way… one year that turned into an entirely new direction. Funny how beginnings disguise themselves like that! 💛 Kelly
What a gorgeous story! The identity piece was so relatable for me. I recently published a substack on the lessons I learned in my "gap year" - which I took at 25 after a few years of working and post covid lockdowns. Hopefully I will have a few more "gap years" in my life!
https://open.substack.com/pub/rumisandwrites/p/5-things-i-learned-from-my-later?r=1nj4f1&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Shayne, I love that you’re already planning for multiple “gap years” in one lifetime — that line made me smile.
I’ve added your post to my reading list and I’m really looking forward to hearing how 25-you processed that first big pause. The identity stuff runs deep for so many of us.
💛 Kelly
Love this for you! The thing with the UK is - it's lovely if you avoid the cities and go to the countryside!
Jen — I completely agree! The countryside is where the UK feels like it exhales.
We find it really recharges our batteries to be out there — I’m constantly amazed at how much countryside there actually is once you step outside the cities. Our daughter and grandkids live on a working estate near Shaftesbury, and it feels like they have no neighbors at all… unless you count sheep and whatever wildlife decides to wander through.
It’s its own kind of magic.
💛 Kelly
This was a great read, Kelly! Love your approach! We’re not ready to take a whole year off, we take about a month (give or take a week or two) to travel, then spend a month or two at home… Our latest trip was Europe, we’ve been home a few weeks now and planning our next adventure by the end of January. Love how you worded it, feeling like each place reveals something new about ourselves. Absolutely agree! 😊
Thank you, Emese — I love that rhythm you’ve built. A month away, a month or two at home… it’s such a sustainable, soul-filling cadence. It’s amazing how each place really does hold up a new mirror.
Can’t wait to see where your late-January adventure takes you next!
💛 Kelly
Thank you, Kelly! <3
Love this approach. It's never too late to have a gap year
This is beautiful! Congrats on your article on BI!
Thanks so much for taking the time to read along — and for your encouragement. I appreciate you! 💛
I enjoyed your article, thank you for sharing your story. I spent 15 years living in Europe, and you captured, or confirmed, a few of the things I knew but needed to read from someone else. You were beautifully succinct, and had me smiling, taking notes even. Home now ... I needed to read you.
Di, this means so much — thank you. I feel like we all carry these little unspoken truths from our years abroad, and it’s strangely comforting when someone else names them out loud.
Fifteen years in Europe must have given you a whole library of those moments. I’m really glad my piece met you right where you are now, back home and sorting through it all.
💛 Kelly
So enjoy getting to know you!
So glad you’re here, Kyle — it’s really great getting to know you through your writing and conversations too!
Thanks for following along, and I look forward to what’s ahead…
💛 Kelly
Awesome piece. Thinking about taking a gap decade. ;)
🙌 A gap decade has a nice ring to it — highly recommend the concept already.
If you do it, please report back so I can restack your field notes on “extended experimentation.”
– Kelly
Haha, will do.
Being able to travel is such a privilege. But it's easy to take it for granted. It's great that you are doing it now when you really appreciate it!
You’re so right — it really is a privilege, and I think that’s why it feels so meaningful to do it now, when I’m old enough to appreciate the wonder and the trade-offs.
Grateful every day we get to keep exploring! 💛 Kelly
I love this perspective and I love reading about your travels!
Thank you, Alexandra — that means a lot. It’s been such a wild, rewarding experiment, and sharing it with people who genuinely enjoy the journey makes it even better. 💛 Kelly
I really like the comment "discovering who we each were without the job titles." It's important to strip down to the bare soul. Most people do not do their dream job, so if you were the lawyer, the gardener, the banker, the manager....these may not even come close to speaking to who you really are. While I was committed to my job for 30 years, I try not to get pulled back into that life too much anymore. Not a closed chapter, but one I would probably not go back to re-read. Also, "Travel didn’t erase who I was — it just handed me a mirror from another angle" is what I love about travel and self-discovery. Part of you can step out from the shadows and be seen...sometimes for the first time. Thanks for this!
Adelaide, this is so beautifully put! I really believe most of us spend decades being known by our usefulness rather than our essence — the job title becomes the shorthand for who we are.
Stepping out of that world felt like peeling back layers I didn’t realize I’d been carrying.
And you’re right… travel doesn’t replace anything. It just offers new mirrors. New angles. New light. Parts of ourselves we never had the space or quiet to notice finally get to step forward.
I love what you said about not re-reading that old chapter. Same here. I’m grateful for it, but the life I’m living now feels closer to the real me than anything on my résumé ever did.
Thank you for such a thoughtful reflection — it means a lot.
💛 Kelly
Love this post. Good luck to you. We have been on our senior citizens extended gap year now for five years. It gets even better with time.
Rosie, thank you so much for reading — and for sharing that.
Hearing you say it gets even better with time makes me even more excited for the years ahead. What a gift to have your perspective in this little corner of the world.
💛 Kelly
“Who am I when there’s nothing to prove?” I love this.
Thanks Bob, that’s the question that’s been humming in the background for me ever since we left our jobs.
Such a disarming, liberating lens to look at every choice through, no?
– Kelly
"Somewhere along the way, I realized the real experiment wasn’t travel. It was identity." Such a profound statement and says a lot about you. A lot of people fill up their time with travel without ever getting to realise that they're searching for something else.
Look me up if you make it to Queensland, Australia.
Glenda, thank you — that means a lot! I’m still wrapping my own head around how much of this “experiment” has really been about who I am without the old markers of home and work.
We’ll be spending a month in Sydney as a home base early next year, and Queensland is very much on the “if we can swing it” list. I’ll definitely let you know if we make it up your way!
💛 Kelly
I tell a lot of people -- especially my younger brother -- that it's never too late to start over.
Michael, same with my younger sister — the youngest ones sometimes need the biggest push, and the biggest reminder that it’s never too late to hit reset and choose a different life.
– Kelly