From decoding Irish accents to dancing at an Italian dinner party I never planned to attend—what slow travel has taught me about connection beyond words.
This is really lovely. You're so right about the same language sometimes being more challenging than a different one. My Irish husband and I often find ourselves talking at cross purposes while both "technically speaking the same language" :)
Your sunset photo story reminds me of whenever we visit with the parents of our friend from Spain. They don't speak English, we don't speak Spanish, yet his mom amazes me every time the way she facilitates communication. Through her very expressive gestures, very expressive eyes, and the way she somehow manages to emphasize words that sound close-ish to their English counterparts, we can sometimes have entire conversations without needing her son to step in and translate.
It always feels like such an incredibly generous and giving way to communicate. I often feel like I've had a deeper interaction with her than people I can understand word perfect.
Such a beautiful story about your friend’s parents! I love how you described it. It’s amazing how fear can block connection, but trust and steady eye contact can translate love better than any dictionary.
One of the best nights of my life was spent in Golden Gai on New Year’s Eve in a multi-story bar called Albatross with 2 Japanese guys, 2 Australians and my friend Nora. The Japanese guys didn’t speak any English but they did know and love every track on Appetite for Destruction and the English ABC’s song. We danced to Guns N’ Roses, sung the alphabet a thousand times and slurped ramen from each others chop sticks until well after midnight and the Japanese guys paid the bill on the whole bar. That was maybe 12 years ago and no singular night has even come close yet.
👏 What a story - I could picture every detail. Guns N’ Roses, ramen, and the ABC song on repeat? That’s pure travel magic. Thanks for sharing… though now the alphabet is going to be stuck in my head all day.
It is funny — Nigel always adds this extra layer when he tells it. He points out that around that table were a real estate agent, a financier, a builder… and he half-jokes that maybe we were being gently set up. I’ll take that kind of “agenda” any day.
I’m still in touch with them, so I don’t actually think that was it — but even if it were, there are far worse things than people wanting you to move in and be their neighbor. That kind of welcome feels almost radical now, doesn’t it?
I love your Italian adventure! Language is communication, not grammar. Almost forty years ago, I traveled to another city to meet a boyfriend. One night, he told me he was busy and left me alone in my hotel. As you can imagine, I was very disappointed. I was there to see him. Feeling miserable, I went down to the lobby, which was full of a group of Brazilians on a tour. They invited me to dinner, then out dancing, and by the next day we were all friends. I even became close friends with one girl. She spoke Portuguese, I spoke Spanish, and we could talk for hours. Language was never a barrier between us. We are still in touch.
Betina, I love your Italian adventure — and your story captures exactly what I meant. “This is not a language lesson” was never just about words; it’s about connection. You proved it beautifully. Real communication isn’t perfect grammar — it’s presence, warmth, and the courage to reach across difference. -Kelly
Exactly — fear of the unknown keeps people from discovering the best parts of life. Though to be fair, sometimes the unknown looks like a pub loo in Ireland… and that’s where the real stories begin.
Ahh, the kind of adventure that makes travel feel like magic.
“It’s not about being right. It’s about being understood.” This!! When learning a language I am always so appreciative of the locals who slow their cadence, choose simple words to match my limited vocabulary, and speak clearly. I can tell that they want me to learn. That I am trying and they appreciate that and want to meet that effort. Someone who wants to be understood and wants me to understand. So much connection in that moment.
Yes 👏 that’s the warm water of travel right there. Not the big, flashy moments, but the ones where someone slows down, meets you where you are, and suddenly you’re both floating in the same current.
What a wonderful story about new friendships. Yes, I've made a friend who speaks a different language. She is a pilot for a galactic research vessel with the Yahyel Civilization. She is a good friend, and a brilliant conversationalist in my language, American English. If you are interested in learning more, I would love it if you followed me. ✌️❤️🕯️and👽
That’s definitely the most intergalactic answer I’ve heard all week. I can only imagine the air miles — or light years — you’ve racked up in those conversations.
What lovely experiences you describe--and the sunset picture of you in Italy is stunning. (No wonder Sandra took it.) When I first started reading the article, however, I thought it would focus on the difficulty of understanding Irish people when they are speaking English. Even after five plus years of living here, there are some people I understand easily and others I cannot understand at all!
Thanks for the compliment and the commentary. Totally agree about Irish English! Sometimes I swear they’re mumbling just to test me — or just for the craic.
I’ll be nodding along, thinking I’ve cracked it, and then realize I’ve agreed to something completely random, like joining a sheep-shearing competition or ordering three more pints.
That's always a possibility! Mostly we struggle to understand some of the thick Kerry accents some of our neighbors have. I am somewhat hard of hearing, so I give that as an excuse for constantly saying 'excuse me?' And then I nod and smile a lot!
We love Kerry and were in Killarney when they came through with the All Ireland Gaelic football cup. Talk about accents… It’s even more pronounced when everyone is celebrating 😉
Absolutely love your perspective! I’ve also experienced the joy of communicating without the shared words to do so. It does take a lot of bravery and willingness to look very silly with gesturing to make and understand the right points, but it sure is worth it for experiences to remember. I once crashed a private billiards hall in Athens where I only knew good morning/good afternoon, and had the most fun night there with super nice people.
Wow, I seriously love this! So well stated – I truly believe we all want to connect with people and communication is so much more than just the languages we speak.
Looking forward to reading about the next ‘table’ you are at!
This is really lovely. You're so right about the same language sometimes being more challenging than a different one. My Irish husband and I often find ourselves talking at cross purposes while both "technically speaking the same language" :)
Your sunset photo story reminds me of whenever we visit with the parents of our friend from Spain. They don't speak English, we don't speak Spanish, yet his mom amazes me every time the way she facilitates communication. Through her very expressive gestures, very expressive eyes, and the way she somehow manages to emphasize words that sound close-ish to their English counterparts, we can sometimes have entire conversations without needing her son to step in and translate.
It always feels like such an incredibly generous and giving way to communicate. I often feel like I've had a deeper interaction with her than people I can understand word perfect.
Such a beautiful story about your friend’s parents! I love how you described it. It’s amazing how fear can block connection, but trust and steady eye contact can translate love better than any dictionary.
One of the best nights of my life was spent in Golden Gai on New Year’s Eve in a multi-story bar called Albatross with 2 Japanese guys, 2 Australians and my friend Nora. The Japanese guys didn’t speak any English but they did know and love every track on Appetite for Destruction and the English ABC’s song. We danced to Guns N’ Roses, sung the alphabet a thousand times and slurped ramen from each others chop sticks until well after midnight and the Japanese guys paid the bill on the whole bar. That was maybe 12 years ago and no singular night has even come close yet.
👏 What a story - I could picture every detail. Guns N’ Roses, ramen, and the ABC song on repeat? That’s pure travel magic. Thanks for sharing… though now the alphabet is going to be stuck in my head all day.
Some would argue that it’s better than GnR being stuck in your head all day…
And now Paradise City is on repeat 🙄
People wildly underestimate the power of mimery
Learning to banter in multiple languages is wonderful.
Absolutely - and after a month in Ireland, I can confirm the craic is its own language. I’ve been training for it my whole life.
Many of us would distrust this level of hospitality, wouldn't we? And I suppose that's sad... Survival, but sad.
So glad you went, to tell us this story!
It is funny — Nigel always adds this extra layer when he tells it. He points out that around that table were a real estate agent, a financier, a builder… and he half-jokes that maybe we were being gently set up. I’ll take that kind of “agenda” any day.
I’m still in touch with them, so I don’t actually think that was it — but even if it were, there are far worse things than people wanting you to move in and be their neighbor. That kind of welcome feels almost radical now, doesn’t it?
Thank you for seeing the tenderness in it!
– Kelly
That's true! Also, not unusual for a real estate agent to be friends with financial advisers and builders. I'm sure it was innocent.
Thank YOU for sharing!
I love your Italian adventure! Language is communication, not grammar. Almost forty years ago, I traveled to another city to meet a boyfriend. One night, he told me he was busy and left me alone in my hotel. As you can imagine, I was very disappointed. I was there to see him. Feeling miserable, I went down to the lobby, which was full of a group of Brazilians on a tour. They invited me to dinner, then out dancing, and by the next day we were all friends. I even became close friends with one girl. She spoke Portuguese, I spoke Spanish, and we could talk for hours. Language was never a barrier between us. We are still in touch.
Betina, I love your Italian adventure — and your story captures exactly what I meant. “This is not a language lesson” was never just about words; it’s about connection. You proved it beautifully. Real communication isn’t perfect grammar — it’s presence, warmth, and the courage to reach across difference. -Kelly
This is brilliant! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Dave for taking time to read and comment 💛 -Kelly
How lovely. If only more people experienced this. Fear of the unknown, unfortunately, prevents most of us from trusting authenticity and kindness.
PS Totally resonate with the Irish story! 🤣
Exactly — fear of the unknown keeps people from discovering the best parts of life. Though to be fair, sometimes the unknown looks like a pub loo in Ireland… and that’s where the real stories begin.
Ahh, the kind of adventure that makes travel feel like magic.
“It’s not about being right. It’s about being understood.” This!! When learning a language I am always so appreciative of the locals who slow their cadence, choose simple words to match my limited vocabulary, and speak clearly. I can tell that they want me to learn. That I am trying and they appreciate that and want to meet that effort. Someone who wants to be understood and wants me to understand. So much connection in that moment.
Yes 👏 that’s the warm water of travel right there. Not the big, flashy moments, but the ones where someone slows down, meets you where you are, and suddenly you’re both floating in the same current.
YES THIS!
Sorry for shouting just got me all fired up.
I accept your apology — and your excitement ❤️
What a wonderful story about new friendships. Yes, I've made a friend who speaks a different language. She is a pilot for a galactic research vessel with the Yahyel Civilization. She is a good friend, and a brilliant conversationalist in my language, American English. If you are interested in learning more, I would love it if you followed me. ✌️❤️🕯️and👽
That’s definitely the most intergalactic answer I’ve heard all week. I can only imagine the air miles — or light years — you’ve racked up in those conversations.
beautiully said...connecting requires more than words and a lot of careful listening
Brilliant!
What a magical experience, the way you get to connect with people its so lovely. What an adventure. 🥰
Thank you so much, Lily. I love the way you phrased it… “get to connect.” It’s definitely a privilege and a pleasure!
What lovely experiences you describe--and the sunset picture of you in Italy is stunning. (No wonder Sandra took it.) When I first started reading the article, however, I thought it would focus on the difficulty of understanding Irish people when they are speaking English. Even after five plus years of living here, there are some people I understand easily and others I cannot understand at all!
Thanks for the compliment and the commentary. Totally agree about Irish English! Sometimes I swear they’re mumbling just to test me — or just for the craic.
I’ll be nodding along, thinking I’ve cracked it, and then realize I’ve agreed to something completely random, like joining a sheep-shearing competition or ordering three more pints.
That's always a possibility! Mostly we struggle to understand some of the thick Kerry accents some of our neighbors have. I am somewhat hard of hearing, so I give that as an excuse for constantly saying 'excuse me?' And then I nod and smile a lot!
We love Kerry and were in Killarney when they came through with the All Ireland Gaelic football cup. Talk about accents… It’s even more pronounced when everyone is celebrating 😉
The Irish take their sports very seriously!
Indeed - we learned quickly to notice which flags are flying in town…then follow the games for quick connection!
Absolutely love your perspective! I’ve also experienced the joy of communicating without the shared words to do so. It does take a lot of bravery and willingness to look very silly with gesturing to make and understand the right points, but it sure is worth it for experiences to remember. I once crashed a private billiards hall in Athens where I only knew good morning/good afternoon, and had the most fun night there with super nice people.
I absolutely adore a good gate crash and yours is epic 🤩 Those are the nights you can’t plan, but never forget.
Wow, I seriously love this! So well stated – I truly believe we all want to connect with people and communication is so much more than just the languages we speak.
Looking forward to reading about the next ‘table’ you are at!
Thank you! Here’s hoping the next table comes with great food, better company, and just enough chaos to make it memorable. I’ll save you a seat 😉